Poems and Texts

from Libido by Cathy de la Cruz



I drank absinthe until Corey looked like a mermaid and I wondered why we had never touched.


The flash of my camera hurt so many of my loved ones eyes and still I kept taking pictures.


I watched Matt play a tiny piano for Celeste. They were so in love and I couldn’t get this man with a bashed-in face to kiss me.


Eileen and I got lost coming home after seeing half a movie together because we were late and I have to admit I was glad we had the extra time alone together. I wonder if she thought it was planned.


I went home to Texas and John and I wrote each other letters. I took a picture of my childhood record player for him and he called it “mag-nan-i-mous.”


I went on so many dates: Jun came and saw me DJ, I tried to make myself look beautiful for John, Narin came and saw me DJ, Galen hid his mouth while he ate—I hated the Buster Keaton film I saw because I saw it alone.


My car broke down on the 405. Luckily, I looked pretty that day and lots of people stopped to ask me if I needed help and I sent each one of them away.


Earl died. I watched her die for months before I watched her die in just a second. Her heart was so weak, that that’s all it took—a second.


I started sleeping with Trevor and ran away to Texas. Our second date felt like everything I had ever wanted, which is why we should have stopped it right there.


My students made some of their best work and I started to make the decision to leave them.


On Thanksgiving, I met family I never knew I had, wrote a short story about parting ways with Los Angeles, spoke to a tarot card reader who whispered because her child had just fallen asleep, went to a party at Corey’s where he wanted me to stay even though he loved somebody else.


I drove two hours to befriend this guy I had wanted to talk to for about nine years. He asked me what I was doing later and I said I was driving home.

Excerpt from Libido, forthcoming chapbook, Spooky Girlfriend Press

Photo: Geraldine Hope Ghelli

Cathy de la Cruz

Cathy de la Cruz is a filmmaker, performer and writer born and raised in San Antonio, Texas. She has an MFA in Visual Arts from UC-San Diego and an MFA in Creative Writing from the University of Arizona. Currently she resides in New York City where she teaches Creative Writing to kids. She is also a Contributing Editor for Weird Sister, where she writes the column, “Funny Feminism.” Her first collection of poetry, Libido is forthcoming from Spooky Girlfriend Press. In 2017, she will be joining Sister Spit on their 20th Anniversary tour. You can find her on Twitter @SadDiego

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