A certain Pirate had Concern for his Health and so he emigrated to Germany. It was there he learned the best Technique of effective Handwashing. Germans wash their Hands in the following Manner, which is the best. First they take one Hand, which can be the left or the right. (Here the Handler performs a Discriminationsavoidingseffort.) Then they take another Hand. Then using the second Hand they wash the first Hand. And only then do they use the first Hand to wash the second Hand. It is never the other Way around. That’s the Technique. That’s how they do it in Germany. As the Result of this Technique there are very few Germs left in Germany.
The parrot of Henry VIII fell out of the palace window and into the Thames. He did not know how to swim. He took to splashing about and shouting, “A boat! A boat, for xii. pounds!” A boatman, who was boating, said, “Here’s a bird with a golden throat, I like the singing of her.” For the parrot, being an Oriental, had a circulet of ruby color about the throat. Then the boatman said, “Where’s my xii. pounds?” But the parrot said, “The king will hand it you.” The boatman entered the palace. The king was enjoying a guinea fowl, and in heavy remembraunce of all these things his second wife used to do with her mouth. The boatman said, “Behold your bird for xii. pounds!” The king turned to the parrot and said, “What says you?” The parrot said, “Less is more?” The king ordered the boatman truncated by xii. pounds, for he was more king than kind.
